Well, it's October again... Aside from the obvious culprits of it's Fall and Halloween's around the corner while kids are busy in school, it also happens to be my wedding anniversary month. Yup! 12 years ago I faced my eternal companion in the Oakland, California temple and sealed our union for all eternity.
Can you imagine it?! 12 years! I know, I know, to some it's long been a blur, but to Charlie and I, we haven't even approached it yet (a few days from now). Considering we dated for three years (a long time for most LDS couples), being married 4 times that is huge to me!!! Why? I started out with not so good relationships though I now realize that if I only knew then that I am a better friend to them than a girlfriend, I would've stayed that way. Go figure,huh?
So back to my neurosis about being married this long- Charlie and I truly love each other, we get each other's sense of humor, we talk and we tackle life together, but we are not your typical definition of "soul mates". Our backgrounds were so different that if Hollywood rewrites an LDS version of Cinderella, our story would be at the top ten candidates. No kidding! It's not easy to describe my feelings for being with one person this long- of course this is what I want, don't get me wrong, but you know sometimes you can't help but pinch yourself (especially by someone like me)just to see if the reality I enjoy now, is indeed a reality. When most LDS women are groomed to find their one eternal companion, they know what that entails- unconditional love and fidelity under the guidance of our loving Heavenly Father, but for someone like me who's been told enough times that I don't deserve much, it's pretty much a daily pinching session. I know silly thoughts.
Charlie and I are in love with each other- we make a point to declare our feelings for each other as much as needed (mainly for me). So, how do we survive each year without me all bruised up and smiling at the end of the day? Simple...
We declare to each other: "You are my love, my life, my eternity."
Friday, October 17, 2008
It's fun to blog, you can't deny that, but sometimes, one is enough. Maintaining one for myself and one for my family has been quite a challenge, but all I really need to remember is to separate the two and make it meaningful, then it's really twice the fun! So, just have fun and keep blogging!
Posted by Chandy at 11:29 AM
Sunday, October 5, 2008
When you have children and they become teenagers, you can't help but think of when you were a teenager. How different or similar they would be to you. Either way, it's a scary thought! Well, back in highschool, I was pretty much a wallflower, but one day...
It was 1989, a couple of weeks before Junior Prom... My best friend PS and I decided that we will get our dresses together, so we shopped at this hole-in-the-wall place in Downtown San Jose. She found two dresses, and she proceeded to explain why I need two myself- one for before Prom pictures and one for the Prom. For her, it was because she got invited to her date's prom as well, so she didn't want to wear the same dress. Teenagers! Well, I wasn't satisfied with my selection so I secretly returned the other one and bought another one (I forget where) and kept it to myself. Why the secret dress? Because... I have a crush on PS' date and I wanted to see if I can get his attention away from her even just for a minute. Yeah, I know, how bold!
Anyway, the night of the prom, I've got everything taken care of: I have a "safe" date (another good friend), a pink dress for pictures and my secret dress. My date's mom was a make-up artist, and she proceeded to slather make-up on me that ended up looking like I had a mask on. To be polite, I took pictures in my pink lacey dress with this "mask" on at my aunt's house in Downtown. We had a great time! (By this time, my date knew about the secret dress, but no idea as to the style). We go back to my house and I proceed to change and smooth out my hairdo- a french braid. When I came out, my date was shocked!
Soon enough, we are standing at the doors of the school gym and scanned the place for our friends. I found PS and the others right away and they looked at me with utter surprise. "What happened to the dress you were going to wear?, PS whispered since she was slowdancing with BL, a red headed cutie, and all I could do was smile. The song ends and BL turned around to greet DM and I. He was shocked; (we're talking jaw opened and speechless!) PS quickly grabbed my arm, led me away from everyone, bent on finding out what happened to the other dress. After admitting my returning it, she said, "Wow, Carol, you look sexy!" Of course I said thank you. We go back to the group and another slow song comes on. DM and I start to dance, but not after catching BL staring at me with a big smile on his face. Needless to say the next two slow dances were with him (by this time, the thick makeup was mellowed out by my oiling face and a quick powdering of the nose gave me a more natural made up face). He said, "you look beautiful, very sexy and smell incredible". In a word, to him, I was hot!!!
What was I wearing?
Typically, I was a "no-date, seldom dance goer, never had a boyfriend in highschool, jeans and T-shirt" girl. My date, DM, he was a good friend who didn't go to our school, and PS set me up with him so I wouldn't go stag. You see, BL asked PS to his prom, only after he said ok to going to our prom. I was cool with seeing them together, she was my BFF after all, but I guess, my crush was stronger than I realized; I wanted to make my own prom special, I wanted to dance with BL. Plus, I wanted a different colored dress since all of my friends found pink or baby blue. I wanted a black sexy number and I found it- a black form-fitting, long-sleeved mermaid dress with gold lace at the hemline and a low open back (most dresses would look low because I'm short, but this was almost sinful on me). I completed the "femme fatale" look with this pair of gorgeous 3-inch closed toe glittered pumps and complimentary earrings. My perfume that drove him wild, "Beautiful" of course!
Why was BL shocked to see me like that? Well, he was my trainer and lead at a nearby McD's where I replaced PS for a couple of months while she went to the Philippines. I was smitten right away, but I knew he had a crush on PS, only she didn't like him and gave me her permission to keep crushing. I worked there a total of four months, and in all that time, all he saw me in was the dorky uniforms we had to wear (I was surprised to know how often romances bloom in this particular franchise)! We never hung out or saw each other outside of McD's until that wonderful prom night...
I had a great time- I found a great dress, I danced with the guy I was crushing on twice and at the end of the night, he asked for my phone number! Of course, since none of us were able to carry a pen or paper in our miniscule purses, he had to call PS for my phone number the following day. We dated for a few months.
All three proms I attended were great and obviously all were before I became an LDS mother of three, but nevertheless, I am so grateful that my own teenager, despite several offers of potential boyfriends, still think "they have cooties and is not ready to date. Whew! (I honestly don't know what I would think if she pulled something similar to what I did; I told you it's a scary thought!)
Wanting to look different than the regular "jeans and T-shirt" and having the guy you like tell you just how great the transformation was, a definite "secret candy"!
Posted by Chandy at 9:56 PM
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I'm now a big fan of CSI, House, Medium, Bionic Woman, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Numb3rs and Bones! It's a fun way to unwind while following these heroes "crack the case"!
Pretending like you're a superhero, brilliant doctor or a bonafide psychic, what a secret candy!
Posted by Chandy at 7:59 PM